Dear Google,
I'd like to start by thanking you for the innovation of search. How would I ever find my daily LOLs or proof for my insane random claims without you? Surely I could not.
While other "flashier" search engines have come along, they don't have the heart of my browser as you do. (And they aren't really ingrained into every application I download yet, either.) No, I'll never leave you. I shall use you until the end of time when I search for ways to fend off zombies during the apocalypse.
But we have a problem. I know, I know. Everything you do, you do for me. You want my life to be easy, streamlined and centralized. You want me to be able to find out everything about all my friends and random acquaintances in one click. I appreciate your concern, really, I do. But it's time for our social relationship to end.
You are perfect just the way you are, as a search engine. I don't need you to be my social network, my phone company and whatever the hell wave is. I know you are just trying to innovate. Hey, we all like to try new things now and then. But you see, I'm already in a stable, committed relationship with a fully-functional social network and so are my friends. He takes care of "those" needs. And besides, he has a bunch of my stuff--you know like pictures--and I don't want to have to go through the hassle of getting all that back just to be with you.
If I need to find a way to be even more connected, I'll test out some other sites...once in a while like Twitter for a quick fling or LinkedIn when I want something serious). And, I'll even visit you once in a while. Like right now. Blogging away just to be close to you! Of course, then I'll just network this back to my social network and no one will ever really come here to view it. Le sigh.
Be great at what you do. Search for ways to be better, for me, for US. But don't ask me to change the way I share my love! We can make it work, Google. I know we can.
Love,
Searching for Sanity
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